7 Expectations I choose to avoid

Daily, our expectations determine our immediate reality. Whether it is related to your dreams, goals, passions or motivation;

if you do not believe in yourself concerning something, you won't succeed in it. Your thoughts become things around you.

Proven research have shown that many people that firmly believe in themselves have access to more metacognitive functions than their counterparts who don't. This implies that those who believe in themselves use more of their brain cells hence; they exhibit higher brainpower towards solving problems and resolving situations. Metacognition helps people to tackle problems from various angles to get the most appropriate solution needed for a particular situation.

Another thing worthy to note about your expectations is that they stand to impact people around you. Several kinds of research have proven this to be true as well: your beliefs influences other people's behavior around you. Imagine kids (randomly picked) in a class that are constantly told that they are smart by the teacher, increasing their performances unimaginably, within the classroom and outside the classroom.

Truly, when we believe in people, we get the best out of them as regards to our set goals. There are numerous examples to prove these facts. For instance, when we believe in people, we tend to do some or all of the following: treat them better without expecting them to fail, expose them to greater opportunities for them to succeed, we give them better information and invest time in them by teaching them appropriately.

The Nocebo Effect

It is a medical term. When you let your doubts cloud your belief in a goal or someone, it helps and encourages them towards failure. This is very common in the medical field with patients and their recovery. Most patients with low expectations for treatments tend to produce oddly poor results than what those who believe and expect success.

Your expectation is your reality

Your expectations are what shape your reality. It affects your life positively or negatively, physically, mentally and emotionally. So, be aware of your expectations at all times, for positive expectations bring about positive realities while negative ones bring negativity: to you and everything and everyone around you.

Here are 7 expectations I choose to avoid.

#1. Life should be fair to you.

Some us expects life to be fair despite we have heard and told that life is not fair at all. It is deep into some of our subconscious and tends to make us believe that unfairness in our life will somehow be balanced out - if when we are not ready to do something about it. Many are stuck in this mindset, and it has not helped them at all.

Action steps: Change this mindset and your expectations at large. Learn to take action to make a difference for your goals and yourself.

#2. Opportunities should fall into your lap.

So many people are not ready to stick their necks out seeking opportunities, they just want every opportunity to fall into their laps just like that. Life does not work like that; you have to make opportunities happen for you. There is always a hard work behind any opportunity no matter how big or small the opportunity. Leaving things to happenstance will not allow you achieve your goals and purpose in life

Action steps: Do not limit yourself to the things that are made to happen around you. Set a goal to make things happen for yourself and you will have more opportunities come around you. Work to create possibilities and let it benefit others.

#3. Everyone should like you.

When you expect people around you to like you, you stand to end up frustrated, depressed and hurt. I used to have this challenge. I was expecting people to like me hence; I assume a whole lot of things, made demands, and requests at will and I almost always end up in a mess, entangled in my emotions and perception of others, or feeling humiliated. It took me a while to get the hang of what I am telling you now.

Action steps: Learn to understand how other people think and feel as well as how they react to situations around them. This will enable you to know more how to manage and relate to them, how much they like and accept you, and their preferences toward you. Do not take shortcuts and focus on earning their respect and trust first.

#4. People should know what you are thinking.

One common mistake we all make is leaving out relevant information when providing a context and giving instructions. People around you cannot decipher what you are thinking - they cannot read other people's mind. Stop expecting people working with you to know what you are saying just like that without you giving them details and further explanation. Communication is not sufficient if it is not clear and people will not understand you if you are not communicating clearly enough.

Action steps: Take time out to always ensure that people around you understand you and what you are saying to them. Take a few more time to explain to them, and it will save you a lot more than you can imagine. Create the chance to understand people's perspective for them to understand yours.

#5. People should always agree with you.

Having people always to agree with you can be a tough call. Of course, you know what you are telling them, and you are ready to back it with facts and figures but, life does not work like that. People are entitled to their opinions and what they want to accept or reject. It will shock you to know that the things that are obvious to you are not so to many other people. We all live in different seasons of life, and it directly influences our thoughts, expectations, and acceptance. Our daily goals are different, our agendas are different, our problems are different and the information we all seek per time is different.

Action steps: Focus on ways to help other people get solutions to their needs and challenges. When you are on a similar page with them, and they feel your connection, they will agree with you than less.

#6. Things that will happen will make you happy.

There are too many people on the face of the earth are have tied their happiness to some event or future they do not have control over to make them happy. They have trained their minds to rest their happiness on wishes and events instead of crucially seeking their happiness or the source of their unhappiness. I am sorry but, if you are in this category, you cannot live like this forever. You cannot tie your happiness to strings of events and be happy - no external event or happening can make you truly happy. True happiness is from the inside.

Action steps: Take time out to fix what is going on inside of you, that is where your happiness lies. Learn how I meditate and meditate about your happiness. It is to you but, you must fetch it out like water from beneath the surface of the earth. It is a little to your mood, and you must find it where it is inside of you. Nobody can help you on this one.

#7. You can change someone.

In this world, there is only one person you have the ability to change - YOU! Change takes time and consistent effort to see it for yourself when you are working to improve Hence; it is tough to change other people. You cannot change anyone who does not want to change - change is inside out. You must change inside before it reflects on you. Many people try to change others without realizing this simple fact - it will yield no futile result except the person or people decide to change. This is a very faulty expectation that makes people lose focus and brings them down if they are not careful.

Action steps: Change does not happen like that so, stop wasting time and energy on people who do not wish to change. Tell them the right way and show them if you can, allow them to choose for themselves and leave it at that. You cannot change other people just as no one can change you. Let go.

Believe in yourself and your Goals

I have also held on to the fact that when you believe in yourself and your actions, your success is more likely to happen than when you take steps that are not bold. You really need to sieve your expectations on a daily basis and ensure you only keep the ones that will get you closer to your goals and not the other way around. You need to let go of some false expectations that will only get in your way to your success.

How do you now see how people's expectations are holding them back and away from their dreams, goals, and purpose? Do you know they can reinvent their expectations to pave the way for them to succeed? Please, share your thoughts and share on social media to help someone else learn from this as well.